LOVING LOW VISION LIFE
Step, point, step, point - jabs self with cane. Surprise! Of course I have a cane and no, not everyone who is visually impaired opts to use one and guess what? Thats perfectly OK! I wouldn't say I've kept my cane a secret, it's something I use when I need to and not everyone has seen it in action.
I'm not one to name things but in this case I kind of feel like it was necessary considering this is as close to a guide dog as I'm going to get for now. (One day I hope to get a guide dog). So meet Candie, my beloved cane that's a little flashy, a tiny bit edgy, and just so happens to have a hot pink end. I know, EXTRA.
Let me tell you though, I wasn't always so loving and accepting of little Ms. Candie. I'm kind of cringing a little talking like my cane's alive, lol. But as a matter of fact, there was a period of time where I hated my cane - A LOT. I went as far as hiding it away. I hid that thing so well I actually lost it for like, a year and as you can imagine it was difficult for ya blind girl to find it. It's clear that I eventually found it (I dug it out from the depths of hell, otherwise known as under my bed) and as a senior in high school 18 year old me came to terms with blindness more and more each day. Thanks Molly Burke and Sam Seavey.
I was scared of it defining me
I was first issued my cane during orientation and mobility back in high school and knowing what I know now fear truly ruled my life. I know exactly why I didn't want my cane to identify me as "the blind girl", because quite honestly I hadn't loved my blindness yet. Walking with a cane and having what felt like all eyes on me was not what I wanted. What are these random strangers looking at? Me? My cane? I hated explaining to peers why "normal" Alyssa was walking around school campus with a foreign object. I felt like the world had assumptions about my eyes, my appearance, and capabilities. But that cane didn't define me, it helped identify me and became apart of who I am. To say the least, not being able to see others very well allowed me to focus on myself and forget about the wandering eyes of the public.
Baby steps and comfortably
You're crazy if you think I woke up one day, unfolded my cane, and brought it with for my morning whizz. I wish I was that comfortable that early in the game but truth is, it.took.time. Oh, and teeny tiny baby steps. It started with keeping my folded cane in my backpack, purse, or even in the car for the first year after being reunited with it. So knowing it was there if I needed it made me pretty comfortable. I eventually stepped out of the house with it unfolded just sporting it as if it were a hiking stick because for me, I really only use it for identification purposes 9/10 times.
Two words: OWN IT
Maybe you will tuck your cane like me or maybe your cane was love at first sight. Whichever way any other blind or visually impaired person chooses, know that you WILL come around to love it. It's just part of the process. Oddly enough I didn't care if I was photographed with my cane, showing it off to others, or educating others on its importance because I felt fulfilled through all of the above. Summer of 2019 rolled around and I had the opportunity to be a job coach with my local commission for the blind through a summer program and I used my cane EVERY single day. Probably the most monumental time in my low vision journey. I had every right to feel empowered and proud.
Things don't happen over night
You may watch a video or even read his post and feel uplifted to start feeling your very best, I get this way a lot when I need something to boost myself up. Just know the complete 180 change won't happen overnight. Instead, look at it as small accomplishes that you can conquer each day. You'll have your crappy days and fulfilling days as well, but be willing to accept both. Others and myself have to remember that the purpose of my cane is to help make my life easier and more accessible, not hinder me.
Daily Outlook
What do you appreciate about today?
What can I achieve today?
How can I make the most of tomorrow?
I everyone finds the drive to find a little more confidence in theirselves. ❤️