I try not to dread my blindness on a daily basis. As a matter of fact, I have become accustom to embracing it but, here comes some enlightening pieces of information. I am a firm believer in figuring things out for yourself. I don't think the world was meant to live while holding hands with someone in spite of fear or reading a book on how exactly the world works all while not gaining a single ounce of self experience. What's the purpose of living then?
As if walking around half blind and oddly confident isn't enough anxiety, there are moments I wish I was thrown a large print book titled "Things to Know When Going Blind" -The Blind and Visually Impaired.
So, contrary to what I stated above - I have developed my own checklist of information I wish people explained to me in the process of losing my eyesight. But, who am I to expect a handout of warnings from resources given to me in the beginning? I'll tell you why going into this journey "blindly" (haha) was better for me. Because they aren't the ones experiencing it first hand. Ta- Da! Thats it. It's a part of life I've had to experience ALONE. Me, my eyes, and blindness - a trifecta in the grand scheme of things.
1. You won't remember what 20/20 vision looks like: My blindness is due to my degenerative eye Disease, Stargardts. The change in vision happens in such a progressive way that you truly don't remember what you use to see. I know once upon a time I was able to read books, street signs, music, etc and now my visual memory is all kicked in the trash. It's just like that high school algebra you flicked out of your brain the second you went on summer break, sound familiar? So, because I lost vision and never "practiced" using it, I no longer remember.
2. Everyone thinks blindness is darkness: Metaphorically? Sure, blindness is isolating and difficult to cope with I'm not the first to admit that, but I don't see darkness or see dark spots. I have even become more educated in blindness and the spectrum of its wonders. To explain my vision on an easier scale: Imagine tunnel vision, now think of the opposite of that. BOOM, the simplest explanation I can give.
3. The grieving process never fully goes away: A diagnosis of blindness is no easy life change and you bet your ass I had my months (and years) to sulk and grieve. Grant it, here I am now and I've managed to pick up my broken pieces while recycling them into useful energy, but I have my moments. The times where I think of what I've lost, its normal I promise. The grief is just another reason to move me towards what hasn't been done.But yes, sadness and I still have our standard appointments with one another ft.junk food and sad music.
4. I'm not the only one: In any aspect of life it's so easy to envision yourself as the only one experiencing something in that moment, too bad that's not the case. I have found more comfort and closure getting to know the people in my visually impaired community. Bloggers, YouTubers, Social Media Forums, all have made me more aware that I don't have to necessarily experience everything in my line of sight "alone". I have made life long bonds, something I'm so grateful for.
5. You are your biggest advocate: Seems pretty self explanatory, right? I remember hiding behind my vision teachers and parents pointing fingers at teachers in high school who didn't accommodate when advised. Over time I just developed the knowledge that if you have something important to say, people will listen. So there I was, leading my meetings the last 2 years of school, reading over my accommodations, explaining the why's, if's, and's. Speaking up for myself has lead me to nothing but success and I hope everyone can manage to do the same.
6. It's BEYOND possible to live a happy life: I'm content with my life, happy with my decisions and the knowledge I have gained. I do things in my life differently, I still have goals, dreams and ambitions. Now sure, I can't tell if my dog pooped outside or not because she's nearly 50ft away from me and I'm over the point of legal blindness but hey, I've got bigger things to worry about. I have genuinely found happiness.
7. Not everyone you meet will "get it": Surprise! The world contains roughly 7.5 billion people and you best believe not everyone will care, understand, empathize, learn or want to help. That is just the way the world works. Of course, we have our handful of trolls and generally ignorant people, but all we can do is keep worrying about ourselves in an effort to change.
8. Making light of my Visually Impaired struggles. I could type out some of these struggles but why do that when I made a video about some of them? Go ahead and check it out: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KADGhdars8Y&t=117s
SHOP:
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